28/07/2017 – My letter for Father

Dear Father,

This is my third week in Jogja after I met you from Idul Fitri celebration. At the first week, I had a class with a student from US. He is a musician. He has a band with underground music. What I love from him is his adventurous nature. Just like an animal person who really likes animal. That is why he is vegetarian. He has lived in many forest for many nights to live with nature, to hope nothing from a life, to pull away from a crowd. That is what I could interpret from him. 

Talking with him about being vegetarian reminds me about my friends and I while we were on fasting from animals-bilaruhi fasting-for 40 days during Idul Adha celebration. What I could say being vegetarian here is not easy. Almost food sold in warung were already obviously or invisibely contained by animals. Thus, the solution is we cook our meals by ourselves or actively asking about the ingredients of any foods we eat. 

You can assume him as Mas Rosi, coming from one concert to another in groups. We even talk about hitchhike that he often does in Indonesia. Just like me, when scouting group of UGM (Pramuka UGM) and I were hijacking right after tracking many hours to be finally arrived at our campus. It was one of amazing experiences I have with Pramuka UGM in tracking, just like him. He has travelled many places from this archipelago. Oh, how I want to travel these islands too. 

At the weekend, collegues and I were cooking together. I made ice tea and oseng-oseng kangkung among many other delicious dishes successfully provided on the table. I just remembered when Risma suprised to know how simply to put seasoning but creating a good taste on kangkung. I am very happy to have such a good time in cooking, as well as in home. Other enjoying parts are taking photos and chatting with people there. 

But the next week, I have no clear idea of what I am going to do here. My first skype class was cancelled and I turned to be free for a week. That was very terrible! I felt like I am losing my crowd. Something empty. The same situation, when I have no schedule to meet people will be always terrible.

In fact, it makes me remember random things which my bad mood comes. I remember mom and you, that I do not do important things here. I supposed to do something here. As well as your story. How you feel so sad when Risma wanted to move from her new school. I just cannot imagine your feeling is. You certainly did not want to be strict at her that always remind you to Mother, but letting her choose she wants. Thankfully she finally realize that she just needs to adjust herself in a new place around new people with new strict rules.  

Same like me, new condition without having clear plans is unconvenient. But it challenges me to do things I want. How I commit to realise my plans.  How I create creative things to do in a row. How I manage self-consistency with my big enemy, pleasure. By all the distraction on plans I make, being around people here is a gift. Even though I have no agenda to do but people here, together we move in the same mission for an increadible teacher-Pak Kyai. We walk through one duty to another in one reason. 

Helping each other. I was asked by mbak Ana to replace her in elementary school for a Quran class-TPA. I met incradible people on her own. Also, practicing my teaching skill in a big class is always interesting. One student, who cannot be silent, instead of hitting and annoying his friends during the whole class, catches my attention. It turns out that his background and daily life shapes him. His parents, both are working to earn money. Thus, he gets along with high school students to play around. Unfortunately, he sometimes becomes their assisstant to help themselves. A family, which must have more compassion rather than material, is every kids’ right. He deserves to get more attention and compassion.  

You and mother had worked hard. When I was in elementary school, to be honest, I was sad to know you being busy with your stuff rather than asking me if I have homework or not. But now I understand, making money is not easy. Running out of money is such a normal condition before end of months. However, a principal that withdrawing your transferred money is impolite. Graduated student from a university, economically, must be tough.

Besides that, pesantren, is the best place to share anything. We have lots of things to do together including food, time, story etc. We celebrated friends’ birthday. We came to a final paper presentation of our college student. This makes me know more people here and situation on how to get the rhytme to be socially connected. Furthermore, knowing how my spiritually goes so far is the other better. Not only praying for a duty but a call from the heart.  

Princess Zahra’s Final Presentation

Just like this night, a friend of mine, shared with me and other friends after my three years ignoring her so well because of her first worst impression. However, last night is the great time to know each other. We shared our story, how past shapes us. 

Deeply sharing without borders

At the weekend, I spent my time with my roomate, mbak Lian, who knows me well right now. With her, I try to build the best relations to learn mistakes from one another, to share compassion, to give a trust. It is not easy but I believe this time is the right time to the better. Soon I realise that to be always positive thinking is the key out from a conflict. 

Weekend on Opick’s concert

Today, I write this letter inspired by my lecturer, Angela Arunarsirakul, as my source of inspiration. Releasing my motto “coloring the world with my own patterns” is not a new one. It has been many years but I haven’t told anyone what the meaning is. That means, my life is colors (impression, message) for people in their life with my patterns (characters, actions) on my own. Having no idea when my life would end, thus, story is the only thing I can give to this world.
Always happy there.

Your daughter, Wirdatul Aini.

Yogyakarta, 28 July 2017

Ketidakjelasan yang Berujung pada Kebersamaan

Pagi itu (14/02) terasa berbeda dari sebelumnya. Waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 06.00 WIB, tapi matahari belum juga muncul dari ufuk timur. Aku pun heran. Berbagai aktivitas di pagi hari sudah aku kerjakan. Namun, waktu dhuha tak kunjung datang. Ku buka jendela kamar ku. Aku melihat warna oranye dari kejauhan. Terasa aneh. Rasa penasaran ku yang memuncak aku lanjutkan membuka pintu belakang. Ternyata semua berwarna abu-abu.Abu Vulanik

Perasaan takut dan khawatir muncul seketika. Apakah gunung Merapi meletus? Bergegas, aku membangunkan teman satu kontrakan yang masih damai di alam mimpinya. Mereka pun juga panik setelah mengecek keadaan di luar. Kami berlanjut mencari info lewat sosial media. Ternyata, gunung Kelud meletus yang abunya terbawa angin sampai ke Yogyakarta.

Seketika itu, tak ada sedikitpun rasa urung melanjutkan agenda ku hari itu. Justru aku semakin tertantang melihat kondisi yang ada keluar. Mengenakan jas hujan lengkap dengan masker dan kaca mata, aku mengayuh sepeda menuju gelanggang UGM, sanggar Pramuka. Saat perjalanan, aku melihat kondisi yang tak lazim. Sungguh, tidak ada manusia yang keluar dari rumahnya. Warna abu-abu pun mendominasi. Semua berubah jadi abu-abu (baca: tidak jelas).

Sesampainya di sanggar Pramuka, aku bertemu dengan beberapa orang dengan penampilan yang tak wajar. Sangat kusam. Ternyata, mereka baru saja membagikan masker gratis ke pengguna kendaraan di jalan. Sungguh luar biasa melihat jiwa sosial mereka. Mudah-mudahan bukan atas nama sosial media.

Agenda tak terencana kala itu adalah bersih-bersih gelanggang dan bundaran dan bagi-bagi masker gratis ke pengguna jalan di beberapa portal fakultas. Kegiatan bagi-bagi masker gratis dikoordinir oleh Unit Kesehatan Mahasiswa (Ukesma) UGM. Pada waktu itu, saya dan pasangan (lupa namanya mbak siapa) membagi-bagikan masker secara gratis di portal masuk fakultas kedokteran. Namun, karena hanya ada seglintir orang yang masuk, kami berpindah di pinggir jalan depan RS Sardjito. Singkat cerita, dua pack masker yang kami bawa habis.

Teringat, sebelum berangkat membagi-bagikan masker, ada Ustadz Keliling yang juga sedang ikut berbagi, yakni makan siang. Aku terima saja dua bungkus makan siang tersebut. Setelah membagikan masker di RS Sardjito dan portal bunderan, baru sempat aku makan nasi bungkus dari Ustadz keliling itu. Ustadz tersebut bernama Ustadz Maulana. Beliau sangat terkenal di kalangan mahasiswa UGM. Itu karena metode dakwah blusukannya, langsung pada sasaran. Mendengar berita dari kakak tingkat, bagi laki-laki dan perempuan yang sedang asyik ngobrol berdua, tapi belum punya ikatan pernikahan, maka Ustadz Maulana akan berdakwah melalui cara blusukannya.

Kembali lagi ke hujan vulkanik, bersih-bersih gelanggang dan bunderan berlagsung beberapa hari. Masalahnya adalah banyaknya abu yng menumpuk di setiap sudut tempat yang dapat menganggu jarak pandang dan pernapasan. Bersama-sama dengan UKM-UKM di gelanggang, kami gotong royong mengumpulkan debu dan membungkusnya di karung putih. Adapun alat kebersihan yang kami bawa adalah sapu lidi, sapu kelud, engkrak, sekop, karung dan peralatan sederhana yang bisa memudahkan.

Abu vulkanik masih bisa bertebaran walaupun sudah satu bulan setelah letusan. Daun-daun yang hijau terlihat abu-abu, genteng, tanah dan seakan berada pada masa ketidakjelasan. Terlihat beberapa warga dusun desa rutin mengadakan kerja bakti bersih-bersih kampung dari letusan abu vulkanik. Pun civitas UGM. Ada hikmah dari setiap kejadian. Hari Valentine yang sudah dinanti oleh banyak kalangan, berakhir pada ketidakjelasan. Penuh dengan abu-abu.

aiesec AV

To Feel Alive

“You don’t have to change the world in order to have a meaningful life. You don’t always have to do things that are extreme and unbelievable and outside of the norm in order to feel alive. You can feel alive just by acknowledging your own worth and the worth of everyone around you.”

journey

Being out of the box is a dream for some people, including me. But, it makes me trapped on a difficult situation to compare myself with others. Thus, I will not allow myself to be someone else because I have something that cannot be imitated by others. Sometime I consider myself to feel alive as my own without thinking of others’ opinions. As my recent time I have passed, I am a typically someone who cannot live monotony. I want to do things out of the box because I know that it is too common having a life like them.

Fortunately, it does. I make up my life. I am not like people in my village, people in my family even people in my study program. I am different with them. That is one of my ways to feel alive. When I try to interact all the repetitiveness as their own, I cannot feel alive. I feel losing parts of my life. For instance, I was involved all the activities in Scout UGM last year, I felt happy there. But then, I considered that I could not do more than myself challenges. However, when I decided to live in a different way by the monotony in boarding house and college, so did I. Thus, I think I need to integrate all things that make me feel alive. Put things together. All my activities are related to one another.

“Jumping out of a plane is remarkable. So is quitting your job and moving across the country, or traveling the world and living out of a backpack for several months. But these are not the only things that make you brave. These are not the only things that signify that you’re living your life right. These are not the only things that give your life meaning.”

I plan to Featured Image -- 366move across the country every year. I and mostly people think that it is a remarkable. So is my journey to Japan. That is my dream and most people. However, it has changed my mind after coming back from there. It is not about how many times I go abroad, but how many changes I have made for myself and others. Honestly, there are many plans to come back to Japan as my future plans. But, it is not about having a seminar and going around the cities, it’s more about the Muslim life as the minority, that they can take a prayer like here. Not only Japan, but I plan to go to Europe. I am sure, it will not easy as I write and post this story, but that significant dream, I will start by gathering phrases into sentences, like now.

Nowadays, the environment of making achievements are showed up. Students in college will do this and this in order to complete the requirements or just to feel a live. For instance, I, a common student, was challenged to compete with other students in an achievement student awarded or Penghargaan Mahasiswa Berprestasi of UGM. After long periods of dreaming, from a way that I have never expected, I became a candidate to be with them, achievements students in UGM. Pessimistic has changed my life, that everyone life should be surrounded by an optimistic, that you can follow your dream (read: the power of dream). The way you live your life is doing your best, for your life and your surroundings, primarily for Allah, The Most Glorified and The Most High.

In summary, feeling a live by people is different. They can do remarkable or ordinary things that make them alive. However, every option and action that we do, will signify others that we are all part of life in the different ways to feel alive.

Yogyakarta, 14 April 2015

Reference:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/04/you-have-more-choices-than-being-either-boring-or-extraordinary/

2nd meeting of SIC #1 – Share your Idea

Today I attended at the second meeting of SIC #1. Now on, I feel very blessed. This is how people life has defined by Allah. Wherever and whenever they are, there is a learning that they can build for the better they are.

*Meeting an outstanding  people

Did you know Birrul Qodriyyah and MaliK Khidir?  If you don’t know, you might find it easily on google. They are an outstanding people from my perspective. Two years ago, they were only on my imagination. I’d never dreamed to close with them even work in one project. But now, it’s on my eyes. Who is make it happened? Allah. With Him, I am trying to find myself. By meeting them today, I felt like I am surrounded by people who have the same passion and covered by all things I need.

*The integration of my passion

It’s almost a year I have been in an Islamic Boarding House “Inayatullah”. But it’s not easy for me to integrate Pontren activity with my daily activity at Scout and other committee. At that moment I felt like I have a lot of problems in both. But when I decided being an only santri, I got a problem with myself. It forced me to realize that I was nothing because I wasn’t do anything.

But then, I found that there will be an open recruitment for Santri Inspiration Center. This is Allah’s guide. Until I became the member, I found that it was what I was looking for. It’s totally suitable for me. Not only for becoming a santri, but it is a also becoming a leader who integrate of Islamic studies with the science and knowledge. I am very proud knowing them.

*With بسم الله الر حمن الرحيم

The leader Mas Malik said that all of things he has achieved come with Bismillah. Setting up Stechoq with 2 billions and buying two motor machine with 150 million are the proof. He came with an Islamic approach. He does regularly sunnah. It might be the model of me how Powerful of Allah.
Mas malik motor

Besides those I have written, there are many things that I have learned today. Mas Desta , he brought me to think how things are made from philosophy perspective. An important word of him was the special things from Yogyakarta couldn’t find from the city, but the edges of Yogyakarta. It was never ending and attractive dialogue. He seems very experienced on it.

Thanks for reading.

 

Yogyakarta, 1 March 2015

Man, Don’t be Rude Please!

“Oh what is it Allah? I don’t want this would be happened again. This is Jogja and I shouldn’t be out there alone when it was getting dark,” I said while keeping in riding.

Today I planned to go some places for fulfill my schedule. But some of them were posphoned because I spent my afternoon in Bulaksumur Residence (BSR). I visited my classmet place. I had never gone there before. It was amazing because there were some flags from countries. Actually, those flags  signed that there were their citizen.Image

I and pink doll in my fiend’s room

I remembered that today I had promise with kak Septi, D who would test me about medicine material. It was 5 p.m. at Sanngar Bakti (SB) Pramuka. I dealt in that time because I didin’t take a pray and there was no “bandongan” at PP Inayatullah. It was possible if I went to class at 7.30 pm.

At that time, there was a heavy rain. But I should go. I wore my mantel and rode my pink bicycle to SB. I met kak Septi, D there, the only one of RTBTD member. There were also some RGM members who played game favorably.

“ I think youn forgot, Wirda,” kak Septi said.

“Hehe It’s a heavy rain so I wait for it a while to stop, “ I answered.

Well, I finished my project there then soon I went back. It wasn’t rain so I didn’t use my wet blanket. When I rode my bicycle in front of vendors at GSP, there was a guy who smiled at me while saying “Assalamu’alaikum”. I ignored him but answered his words in heart. It was so bad, I didin’t even know him before.

When I arrived at the intersection of Kaliurang Street Km 4,5 (jakal), I turned left and rode slowly. At that time, it was quiet and dark. I rode at the left side, slowly slowly and slowly because my bicycle was hard to ride. Suddenly, the sound of motorcycle closed to me, I turned my head to the right and yes a guy groped my chest intentionally in seconds. “Astaghfirullahal’adzim,” I shouted strongly and loudly. Then he went straight on his motorcycle.

“Oh what is it Allah, I don’t want this would be happened again. This is Jogja and I shouldn’t be out there alone when it was getting dark,” I said. Soon, I remembered many things randomly. I couldn’t hide my woman feeling so I felt my tears.

I kept to ride my bicycle until arrived at PP Inayatullah. “You didn’t follow bandongan, did you?” Mbak Ani said. “Well, I thought that there was no bandongan mbak,” I answered it.

I even went at 1 a.m. and I felt alright. But it was 7 p.m., something I never imagined was happened. This was all Allah reminder. It was the first time for me and the last, Aamiin. Soon I promised that I should in PP Inayatullah started from Magrib to take pray together.

Well, I seemed like I want to take ninja for my days. You know,  I had covered my chest with that veil, but a guy still looked at it.

After the class, I told this event at Mbak Ani, I felt better then. I rode my bicycle to my home fast.

Yogyakarta, February 10, 2014.